woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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