An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
It's just like the Real World with babies
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
