New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
