it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
