worst night to have a conscience
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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