we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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