We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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