i think my tv is drunk
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
