Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Do vagina's smell?
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
