Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
