Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Randomize
