It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
