she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
