my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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