so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
