If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
