I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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