You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
