I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
