I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
