I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
