Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize
