the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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