when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
