great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
