he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
