Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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