i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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