I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
