Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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