How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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