So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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