My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
Randomize
