is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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