Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
