margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
