From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
