i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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