I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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