I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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