you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
