Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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