so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
