He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
