There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
