everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Randomize