who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
FUCK WHALES
Randomize
