i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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