Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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