dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
