distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
