I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize