dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
