Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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