in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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