So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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