Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
