Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
