How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Buhtt sex?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
