its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
