I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
