I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize