You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Randomize
